What's your intention?
Every day we set an intention for ourselves, whether we are conscious of it or not. I get to work on a diverse group of people all the time and there are two major things that I see as a commonality amongst my clients time and time again: 1 - They all have skin (duh) and 2 - There are disconnects with their intention for themselves and intention for their skin. You can’t commit to being healthy or loving to yourself and exclude your skin in that factor. Your skin is part of the package people so it’s important to remember that you can put forth just as much love in your skin as you do everything else. So how do you start setting intentions for your skin? Here’s how to do it.
Facing Fears
It’s easy for me to skip over the synchronicities that lead me to pick the topic of my blog post each week but over the last few days, I faced and realized a couple of fears of mine while hearing a lot of the fears from my clients. Sometimes it’s something as small as the fear of a post facial breakout or it can be as serious as feeling like you can’t look in the mirror without shame. Fear, to me, is simply false evidence appearing real however regardless of the times that I say this and the advice I give to others on how to overcome fear - I still face some major fears that can honestly paralyze me. So what can we do when we still have fears we know we have to face?
Understanding your value and worth.
One of the hardest parts of owning a business for me is the financial side of it. As you may all know by now I’m not a business major who has had a set plan from the start of my business. I was literally left with no other option but to start my own business after leaving my last spa job when I had shingles. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to how much my services are worth but at the end of the day it came down to how much I value myself. Starting this at 27 out of fear of going broke there were many times when I undervalued myself just to get people in the door. What never dawned on me was that when I worked in other offices I was doing $300 services and my clientele never blinked on the cost. So why was it hard for me to recognize that I’m worth the industry standard (and much more).
Becoming attached: Why the rules of dating often apply to my work
When it comes to my relationships with clients it feels like I often have to play by the rules of dating. Over the last decade I feel like I have experienced a non stop rotation of new, existing and returning clients. Every day I get several inquiries about how someone found me and I’m the answer to their skin prayers. I mindfully reply back and then - nothing. Since I have been with my husband for almost 6 years I missed the era of online dating, so I find that I still play a very old school part in courting someone. When a client ghosts me I get confused and think “didn’t you reach out to me?”. I also get broken up with by clients. I find that as strong as my return rate is there are many reasons why some people don’t come back. As an empathetic healer there are a lot of lessons I have to continuously learn again and again because I become heavily invested in each case. Whether a client ghosts me or gives me a very thoughtful reason why they can no longer see me, it still somehow manages to sting. There are many reasons why I think that a service providers clientele continues to evolve. I want to explore what may be holding back from taking the leap you need to trusting the process to finally achieving the skin of your dreams.
Acceptance.
I was so fortunate to celebrate my birthday with some of my favorite people this weekend. I wanted to express my gratitude for those of you who wished me a happy birthday and allowed me to take a much needed digital detox. I had an epiphany of what I was hoping to finally release as my last moments of my 20s wrapped to a close. That epiphany was to work a heck of a lot less. I’ve been working multiple jobs for as long as I can remember and with the obvious physical side effects of overworking it also was a bit of a cover up for me. If I overwork that means that I can live in a cycle of overworking followed by much needed escapism. Escapism is basically an avoidance of self care masking as a reset time. Like binge watching tv, online retail therapy or avoiding exercise with the excuse that it's a necessary day off. A little escapism here and there is totally fine but the most important thing to remember is to actually tune back into your needs when you're off. I'm lucky enough to have a job that is so fulfilling but this decade I'm dedicated to practicing what I preach a little more. This means taking my days off and being just as nice to myself as I advise all of you to be. Let's see how this goes!
Spiritual Awakening.
When coming up with the title to this week’s post I honestly attempted to find synonyms for the word “spiritual”. Nothing seemed to fit the essence of what I wanted to write about so I decided to stick with it however I had a visual of my readers immediately clicking past an article of this subject. What would spirituality have to do with skincare? If you hear me out you will make the connection I promise. The mind, body and spirit approach is necessary for a full recovery for any sort of imbalance going on in our lives. I believe that we all have a strong intuitive sense of what we need. Whether it’s our basic human instincts to choose foods that are will nourish us to who are the people we want to spend our days with. A lot of my daily decisions and practices are based on my intuition. I try to help my clients tap into their intuition by giving them the power to choose what’s best for them and creating connections between mind, body and spirit. Whether it’s by asking the right questions that lead them to the answer they had in them all along, or it’s by honoring them if something is not resonating with them. I don’t force upon a practice that doesn’t work but I also help you breakthrough the blocks when nothing seems to be progressing. It’s taken a long time for me to tap into my own sense of intuition and release some of the blocks that hold me back from living my most abundance life, but it all started with my acceptance of my spiritual path and the awakening it lead me to.
Love.
What I’ve learned over the last decade of skin therapy work is that I’m one incredibly empathic human. I feel everything. I’ve learned just about everything I can know about marriage, divorce, heartbreak, childbirth, miscarriage and grief from my clients. Little did my clients throughout the years know, they helped me tune into my heart to make some of the most difficult decisions I ever had to when it comes to love and loss. I continuously find myself holding space for people in some of the most tumultuous times. The therapeutic skin coach approach was to help you get to the root of the emotional issue just as much as the physical, so naturally your life events come up in conversation because it's all connected. You can't have glowing skin if you're disconnected from your experience. I wanted to share some of the most valuable lessons in love that I picked up along the way.
Perception.
It’s officially August 1st so this means it is the last official month of my 20s. A lot usually comes up for me right before my birthday because I physically feel a chapter writing itself to a close. I become very reflective about where my life is going as well as what I’ve learned from the previous 11 months. I can safely say that my 20s have been a decade of epic growth that I can wax poetic on it all day. Over the last week I have been incredibly fortunate that the universe has graciously presented me with multiple gifts of self care which has helped me tune into my reflective period. Honing into that voice in my head that is screaming at me to finally shed some of the barriers I’ve held up for as long as I remember. The one that screams itself the loudest is simply to be my most authentic self. So as I continue to write I want to dive a little deeper into the themes that has led me to where I am now, living an authentic life of my choosing with the world as my oyster.
Why I love the dentist
I am one of those people who actually likes going to the dentist. My mom worked at a dentist from when I was 10 to 28 so I basically grew up around the office. It was also my first job assisting around the office so I understood the culture of preventative care which is why I’ve never had a cavity or any oral care issues. When I moved to LA back in 2012 I didn’t have health insurance and could not find a dentist for the life of me. All of a sudden a few years had gone by and I started to notice some plaque on my teeth. I knew that proper oral hygiene is the key to overall good health but months became years and all of a sudden I blinked and found myself 6 years without my teeth getting cleaned professionally. Trust me, I barely admitted it to my mother or myself because I felt so shamed about it. I was relying on my genetically good teeth and ability to always brush my teeth and floss but I knew it wasn’t enough. That is when the incredible Dr. Karla Solis came into my life. I was introduced to her over a year ago and she has brought me back to a place of faith in my oral care because not only does sitting in a dentist chair feel oddly nostalgic and comforting to me but also she’s an incredible holistic dentist. I saw her yesterday and we got to talking about some similarities in our fields and that’s what I want to talk about today.
When the roles reversed...
Last week I had my first session with a health coach and within 10 minutes I was a sobbing mess. Many people may not make the connection of emotion and nutrition but for me the two go hand in hand. I have never really had a beautiful connection with my food even though I love food, cooking and everything about social dining. When you pretty much always feel shitty, are bloated and followed by a case of nausea or diarrhea - you start to dread your next meal. Over the last 5 or 6 years that started to change, and I thank my husband for that. James introduced me to a new style of cooking and meal prepping that I began looking forward to eating together and it’s one of our greatest past times. I finally felt a connection to food unlike I have before. And if you’ve ever eaten with me, you know that I eat well. I’m healthy and gravitate towards options that are balanced and not too heavy. It never mattered to me that my new relationship with food meant that there would be weight gain because I finally felt like I could eat and not suffer.
My social media anxieties
I go through the typical love/hate stages with social media often. Most of the time I can get past the obvious social media sensitivities like “how come this person is always on vacation?” or “this person posts so much better content than me.” but sometimes I get triggered and it’s taken me a little perspective and self care to uncover what those fears were really stemming from. First, I am a firm believer that we are all in it to win it so my comparison attitude is based from a deep rooted crippling perfectionism that I have only started shedding over the last 2 years - obviously something I need to work on a little more. I do feel like we all can be successful and it takes for me to see how someone else is successful to remind me that I can do it too. Trust me there are times that I have woken up from dreams that all of a sudden the new trend is to not treat your skin and I would be completely out of work. But after 11 years I still manage to get more questions, new clients and seem to be increasing in my success with each year. So why does an instagram sometimes make me want to give up? Or at least crawl under a pillow for a few hours.
I'm so not a salesperson...
My husband and I realized something about me recently. If you get a chance to sit with me for a lunch, facial or just a brief encounter in the grocery store - you may end up indulging me with your life story. The name “therapeutic skin coach” is not 100% based on my experience as an esthetician. For as long as I can remember I have the type of personality that immediately comforts someone to have them share their life with me. It makes sense that when I first signed up for college I simply put “psychology” down as my option for a major since I have sort of always felt like a bit of a therapist. That being said it hasn’t always been easy to be an esthetician. Estheticians wear many, many hats that unless you walk in our shoes, you may not realize how much we have to do. First, we need to be able to analyze just about any skin condition. There are many party conversations that turn to “you should take a look at this thing on my back” or a text with attached photo that says “what do you think this might be?”. Secondly, we need to be able to run our businesses. I have to place orders, manage my business accounts, set up projections for myself and have to keep my permits, licenses and insurances all up to date. Things I never thought I’d have to worry about or rather even know anything about. Probably one of the most important parts of the job however is sales. I have to sell myself, sell you on my service, sell you on my products, sell you on everything. And you know what, I’m so not a sales person.
Girl Boss all day, everyday
Over the weekend I was gifted a day off by the universe as I was attempting to squeeze too much in and once again my body said; “slow down and take care of me”. Why I have to learn this continuously is something I am working on, I promise. However, I cancelled my day and my bed was my new office and rest was my new assignment. I gave in and pulled up one of my favorite recipes for rest - Netflix. I’m really impressed with Netflix nowadays for being able to constantly rotate content as well as have new shows and movies. I mean we’ve all fallen in love with “The OA” and “Stranger Things” so the bar is set high, so when I hear the reviews of “girl boss” I was a bit bummed because I wanted it to be great. I love the Nasty Gal story and so I figured I would give it a shot since I was sequestered to my bed anyway. With 30 minute episodes, it was easy to move through the series quickly (and shamelessly) and once I was done I felt I related to the story so much. A few days before I started watching the series I felt a little down on myself for having dedicated almost 11 years to a career and to only feel like I am just starting to grow. I might be a late bloomer, or a slow bloomer, but I was starting to fall down the spiral of comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t able to achieve certain goals yet. My dream vacation is still awaiting me, hello! So as I’m trying to manifest my Therapeutic Skin Coach empire I realized that the story of Sophia Amoruso really spoke to my young entrepreneurial journey. For one, we both started in 2006 and secondly we were both so young (I - 18 and she - 23). So instead of allowing myself to be swallowed by the pit of comparison and jealously what I took from the series was a few basic lessons and reminders. Here is what I learned:
Retrograde Madness...
Ever feel like the universe is working against you? The answer is most likely yes and if not, I want to know your secret. No matter how zen we try to be sometimes it feels like no matter what is going on it can just feel extra difficult. For the last two months we have been experiencing some universal pulls because a couple of our planets have been in retrograde. If you are wondering what a planet being in retrograde means, it is when a planet decides to reverse its direction or simply move backwards. This universal pull messes with our typical flow and can mess with communication, relationships and tons of other important aspects of your day to day. Retrogrades are a concept that I was introduced to my very first month of working as an esthetician. I don’t know why folks in my industry are hyper aware of the shifts in our universe, but we are. I blame the fact that we need a reason for late cancellations, clients forgetting appointments or technology blunders. I admittedly have always been one of those typical retrograde weirdos that try to avoid certain behaviors during these shifts.