I'm so not a salesperson...
My husband and I realized something about me recently. If you get a chance to sit with me for a lunch, facial or just a brief encounter in the grocery store - you may end up indulging me with your life story. The name “therapeutic skin coach” is not 100% based on my experience as an esthetician. For as long as I can remember I have the type of personality that immediately comforts someone to have them share their life with me. It makes sense that when I first signed up for college I simply put “psychology” down as my option for a major since I have sort of always felt like a bit of a therapist. That being said it hasn’t always been easy to be an esthetician. Estheticians wear many, many hats that unless you walk in our shoes, you may not realize how much we have to do. First, we need to be able to analyze just about any skin condition. There are many party conversations that turn to “you should take a look at this thing on my back” or a text with attached photo that says “what do you think this might be?”. Secondly, we need to be able to run our businesses. I have to place orders, manage my business accounts, set up projections for myself and have to keep my permits, licenses and insurances all up to date. Things I never thought I’d have to worry about or rather even know anything about. Probably one of the most important parts of the job however is sales. I have to sell myself, sell you on my service, sell you on my products, sell you on everything. And you know what, I’m so not a sales person.
Stop Picking Your Skin!
I think we can all agree that one of the worst skin habits to have is picking at one’s skin. Actually, it’s THE worst habit to have. I can live with a “I forgot to wash my makeup off” every once in awhile or even a “I use cetaphil to wash my face”, but there is no good reason to pick your skin. Trust me I’ve heard it all; “It was ready” - How do you know? Are you a licensed esthetician? “I did it mindlessly” - Perhaps in your sleep but most scabs indicate to me that it wasn’t just a mindless attack. I’ve fallen victim to picking at my skin from an early age and since I obviously made a career out of it, I understand the urge to do it. The truth is that it comes down to two theories:
A - You actually think you are an esthetician and after watching enough Dr. Pimple Popper youtube videos so you feel confident you can extract your skin flawlessly.
Or
B - There is an emotional connection to why you are attacking your face. It may be anxiety or the need to control something when your life feels out of sorts however there is an underlying issue that your face doesn’t deserve to feel the retaliation from.
So what can you do? There are so many ways to transition out of this habit and I’ve broken it down into 3 simple steps.
Girl Boss all day, everyday
Over the weekend I was gifted a day off by the universe as I was attempting to squeeze too much in and once again my body said; “slow down and take care of me”. Why I have to learn this continuously is something I am working on, I promise. However, I cancelled my day and my bed was my new office and rest was my new assignment. I gave in and pulled up one of my favorite recipes for rest - Netflix. I’m really impressed with Netflix nowadays for being able to constantly rotate content as well as have new shows and movies. I mean we’ve all fallen in love with “The OA” and “Stranger Things” so the bar is set high, so when I hear the reviews of “girl boss” I was a bit bummed because I wanted it to be great. I love the Nasty Gal story and so I figured I would give it a shot since I was sequestered to my bed anyway. With 30 minute episodes, it was easy to move through the series quickly (and shamelessly) and once I was done I felt I related to the story so much. A few days before I started watching the series I felt a little down on myself for having dedicated almost 11 years to a career and to only feel like I am just starting to grow. I might be a late bloomer, or a slow bloomer, but I was starting to fall down the spiral of comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t able to achieve certain goals yet. My dream vacation is still awaiting me, hello! So as I’m trying to manifest my Therapeutic Skin Coach empire I realized that the story of Sophia Amoruso really spoke to my young entrepreneurial journey. For one, we both started in 2006 and secondly we were both so young (I - 18 and she - 23). So instead of allowing myself to be swallowed by the pit of comparison and jealously what I took from the series was a few basic lessons and reminders. Here is what I learned:
Retrograde Madness...
Ever feel like the universe is working against you? The answer is most likely yes and if not, I want to know your secret. No matter how zen we try to be sometimes it feels like no matter what is going on it can just feel extra difficult. For the last two months we have been experiencing some universal pulls because a couple of our planets have been in retrograde. If you are wondering what a planet being in retrograde means, it is when a planet decides to reverse its direction or simply move backwards. This universal pull messes with our typical flow and can mess with communication, relationships and tons of other important aspects of your day to day. Retrogrades are a concept that I was introduced to my very first month of working as an esthetician. I don’t know why folks in my industry are hyper aware of the shifts in our universe, but we are. I blame the fact that we need a reason for late cancellations, clients forgetting appointments or technology blunders. I admittedly have always been one of those typical retrograde weirdos that try to avoid certain behaviors during these shifts.
WRKSPC Oasis Launch and what I learned
Last Wednesday I had the opportunity to participate in the launch of WRKSPC Oasis, A women's coworking + wellness popup at the Parachute Hotel in Venice with Skin Food Talk. WRKSPC Oasis was founded by two bad ass entrepreneurs bosses that I’m so grateful to have met. Kristine Lo, who was also my wedding videographer and SFT’s ebook photographer and Mikayla Mitchell, whom I had met previously through conscious city guide. These ladies were paired together at a meditation workshop (how cosmic!) and manifested their creation together so flawlessly. All day Tara and I got to sit outside on the rooftop and meet with women who were either self employed, in between careers or attracted to a women run wellness popup. When I get to meet with people all day long and talk about their health there are a few themes that consistently come up; we tend to overwork, under eat/sleep and lose track of that little voice within that says “slow down”. Women led companies are changing the world right now and it’s incredible to be apart of it while we are seeing a lot of darkness rise. We bring the light to all aspects of life - our friendships, family dynamics and our workspace. Many of us are empaths or sensitives that feel a lot of what’s going on and start to notice the physical and emotional symptoms that don’t seem to have a root cause. The reason the launch of WRKSPC Oasis was so successful was because they found the root which is how to care for ourselves and each other while balancing our super woman responsibilities. I wanted to take the chance to share the practices I learned from the event and how they have immediately impacted my life.
Reassessing our standards
I was in an energy session recently where I was faced with a question that hit me like a ton of bricks. “Are you standards too high for yourself?” is exactly what I needed to hear to let go of the physical anxiety holding me back from actualizing my goals. My standards for myself are astronomically high. They have been since I was a young girl because I showed signs of emotional depth, intelligence and empathy really early on. If someone was mean to someone else on the school playground, I would mediate. “How would you feel if you were in their shoes?” was the first question 6 year old Hayley would ask. Immediately I set my standards high and so did everyone else around, not leaving much space for me to crumble down if I needed to.
What constitutes an expert?
Over the last few years I have seen an incredible growth in the wellness community. We have evolved our hippie, woowoo reputation to a reliable source of transparency and natural health care. Since I’ve been in the game for over a decade, and that may just be long enough to recognize patterns, I’ve realized the most extreme pattern is how sick people are getting. With the amount of knowledge I’ve acquired over the years, I feel as though I constantly have to research and ask questions. I’m lucky to have a great group of wellness practitioners that I collaborate with so we can create a whole health wellness plan for just about any case. If a case gets a little tricky for me to solve on my own I have many estheticians who I can reach out to for advice. The collaborative effort creates a safe space to explore endless possibilities and potentially help catch something I would have normally missed in an assessment. So if it takes a village and a decade of experience among the leaders of this community for me to find success, than how come everyone is all of a sudden an expert?
Happy Spring Equinox...now mix it up!
When I was a young girl I use to be obsessed with drawing. I always had a pencil and sketch pad with me for road trips, play dates and would even draw during family movie night. I was fascinated with drawing people and their faces. It gave me a chance to be creative because I had never met two people who were identical. I can even differentiate between identical twins because I can pay that close attention to minute detail. I normally have to take a deep breath when someone tells me that they have been using the same skincare since high school. Unless you only graduated a year ago that really terrifies me. There are so many common misconception of how we need to treat our skin but one that seems to be recurring is the concept that your skin needs never change. We eat different foods seasonally, we mix up our workouts, we change shampoos and other body care often so why don’t we apply that same concept to our skin. Our skin can help us determine what is going on internally and our face is our most recognizable feature. We each develop unique facial features that evolve over time and can help develop character as well as become part of your personality.
Sometimes, I'm just off...
Sometimes, I'm just off and this weekend was a reminder of how incredibly uncomfortable that feels. The moon in Virgo and daylight savings reminded me of how even just a simple change to our environment can throw us off in our energy fields. Luckily the solution usually presents itself and we just have to be willing to listen. So instead of spinning with my head cut off I made a few choices to change and I wanted to share them with you for it might inspire you to do the same or just understand where I'm coming from.
Why your skin is getting the best of you and how to regain your power.
I’m piggy backing off of last weeks post to dive into depth on one of my main points. I mentioned last week how you don’t want to be quick to blame your skincare and I received such great feedback. It’s hard for me to talk about accountability because I’m human too and need just as many supportive humans to help guide me through this life. Just because I’m a service provider it doesn’t mean I have all the answers. How annoying would I be if I was the smartest person in the room at 29? I would literally roll my eyes to myself. There’s no way to know everything! I’m learning along the way just like you are and so unfortunately if you don’t do your own work I can’t help you. Which bums me out too! I am a virgo that likes to have 100% on my record when it comes to client retention and only after starting my own business did I realize that is not a goal anyone in my profession should want or have. Reason number 1 loops into the idea that I just mentioned that I don’t know everything to heal everyone and reason number 2 being I need to choose who I work on just as much as you choose me as your esthetician. It’s an energy exchange like no other. I meet you and within 20 minutes strip your face to it’s purest state that is a portal to your inner health. Not many people want to admit that they sneak snacks at midnight or they drank a whole bottle of wine by themselves.
Most of us have grown up feeling shamed for certain habits and so we collect them as dirty little secrets. The more dirty little secrets you have the more you start to believe your own denial about yourself. Part of me feels like being the face of health and eco conscious living I have to hide the fact that I bought a paper bag from Trader Joe's earlier and that I ate donuts over the weekend (they were baked and somewhat healthier but still). I’m tired of having these dirty little secrets. Especially since they are miniscule compared to the amount of good I create and healthy habits I stick with. I NEVER shame myself over my skin anymore. I’ve been walking around with a nose full of blackheads since I was 10 and honestly, they are part of who I am. If one day I didn’t have them, I would feel really strange and pretty annoyed with how ordinary I would seem. I’m not ordinary. I’m extraordinary which to me is being weird, messy, and somewhat neurotic at times.
That’s my depth, we all have it whether we have discovered it yet or not. So now that I’ve gone on my own, incredibly long tangent, my goal with this post is to help you navigate why you’re jumping around from your skin health habits and how to finally let go of the shame that comes with it.
Before you blame your skincare...
I’ll be frank and tell you that one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone blames their skin care for their breakouts. There is a small chance that your skincare isn’t working with your skin’s current condition but about 90% of the time it’s not the problem. Our skin is such a powerful organ with the ability to heal itself so breakouts are simply just a signal of what is happening within.
I want to help you try to understand this concept but I also don’t want to shame you in your health habits. It’s a fine line that I dance as an esthetician because I can always tell if you’ve had a cigarette, one too many margaritas or if you forgot to take your makeup off. Don’t even try to lie to me about picking your skin because skin doesn’t heal up in a scab like that. However regardless of my ability to use your skin as a guide I don’t get the authority of a doctor to tell you to change. Yet somehow I get all the blame if someone isn’t happy with their skin. When this comes up I don’t get upset, I just get reminded of the lack of understanding out there. Most people run around to several practitioners and take the solution that;
A) requires the least amount of work.
AND/OR
B) shifts the blame and allows you to avoid taking accountability.
Don't get me wrong, I do it too.
I’ll be nice about it but I won’t let you blame me or your skincare for your breakouts. So that being said, let’s just dive in. Why are you breaking out? Before you change your skincare or run to the dermatologist here are a few things to consider:
Last week, it hit me...
Have you seen La La land yet? Well I've seen it about 4 times now and within the first scene I'm bawling. Mostly because I'm a sucker for musicals but secondly because even though I'm not an actor, I identify with the message of the film so much. In the opening scene there is this song and dance sequence to the song "Another day of sun" that any Los Angeleno will tell you feels very relatable. This city can eat you up and spit you out but then we wake up and do it all over again the next day.
Last week, it hit me...
I was reminded that our first Skin Food Talk was a year ago and I was hit with a wave of emotions. It's not just because of the success of this past year, it's because I had a lot of memories resurface and I realized that this last year taught me how to better cope with the challenges of this life.
Happy Self Love Day!
having to do something extravagant on a random Tuesday. However, even when I was single I realized how Valentine's day was a time to give back to ourselves no matter what our relationship status is. Especially since it was one of the few days in the year that some of the spas I worked at would extend their hours. For a business to project ahead of time that more people would be taking care of themselves on a particular day was genius in my opinion. And they were never wrong, for 12+ hours straight at several locations each hour on the hour was booked up with people who were taking the time to care for themselves or someone they loved. A simple shift in perspective can remind you that this day is bigger than a fancy dinner and chocolate, it's simply about love. Love for yourself and others if you so choose. So instead of feeling low or irritated here are my top 5 ways to enjoy Valentine's Day whether you are solo or paired up:
It takes a village
Building a community for yourself is important for any stage of your life. If you think about your work, you usually need a full team to get everything done. If the team is built right for the task and everyone shares the same passion for the common goal, the results are usually productive and wonderful. If your team isn’t structured according to the same goals it can be disastrous. The same concept falls into friendships, families and the community you built to help keep you well and healthy. Your wellness community is everything and shouldn’t be ignored. Let's face it, the phrase "it takes a village" doesn't just stop when we're babied. Here are some key points to evaluate when building your team.