Taking accountability

Maybe it's because I am 30, maybe it's the start of a new year, or maybe it's an unknown universal shift but I have recently felt empowered to own up to a lot of my mistakes and start taking some accountability. I am the type of person who can admit when I'm wrong but often time it comes after a fit of defensiveness and a little bit of self-victimizing. Lately, I have recalled a couple of instances in which I needed to take accountability and didn't have the emotional intelligence to do so. It's difficult to look back and think "I should have done this better" but having grown up in this field I have to give myself a little credit for doing my best and learning along the way. As much as I can't help but cringe at some of my reactions in the past, I want to share a few of them with you. Hopefully, this can help shed some light on where we can oftentimes fall short as people, but recognize that there is always room to grow and get better.

My husband and I are the same age and minus the fact that he went to college, we have just about the same amount of experience in our fields. He is now at a management level where he is managing people who's position he was in just a few years back. This gives him a great perspective on why certain people act the way they do because chances are he's been there. One day we were talking about how some people don't show up to work because they are hungover. I expressed how I have done a version of this multiple times and he admitted he never has. That's when I realized that my rationalizing this normal early-twenties work behavior may have been a mistake. Now, I've never done that as a business owner but I have called in sick when I really just stayed out too late the night before at my previous spa jobs. This was in my earlier twenties and I'm sure most of you have done it too, the difference is that I always felt so bad about it that I might as well have gone into work. Where I realize a shift has happened is when I started to make a conscious decision to show up fully present at my job regardless if that meant saying no to going out. I've missed countless outings since being a business owner and though that does create a bit of FOMO, it's much more worth it to me to be present/alert in my treatments and have consistency in my work. This guarantees me that I am giving my all to my clients at all times. 

So when client relationships have shifted in the past, I also didn't do a great job of taking accountability on my part. It's so very clear to me now that every individual has a different experience within the same event. I have had clients in my 12 years give me feedback that I felt immediately defensive to but upon reflection, I realize they are an opportunity for growth. For example, I was really overwhelmed towards the end of the year last year as I was making some major shifts but didn't offer myself enough time to process them. I overworked and made a few mistakes in some client feedback. I would always pride myself on having an impeccable memory for my client's history but that's until my client list started topping past the 300 people mark. There's no way I can assume anything at this point. I made a mistake in addressing a person's profession and it took all of my credibility away (and yes, that's how fast it can go). If I'm going to ask you to share a ton of information with me, it's just as important for me to get your information right. I take accountability in knowing that I made a mistake and have taken action to get the help I need to support me with my daily tasks. In addition to hiring people to help me navigate my inbox full of endless requests, questions, etc. I am developing a different way to structure your individual feedback where mistakes will be less likely to occur. Sometimes, it's just a matter of having someone else proof read for me since my eyes tend to glaze over after hours on the computer writing consultations for 2 hours at a time, 7 days a week. 

Taking accountability comes in two parts for me. The first is admitting your fault, flaw, mistake, etc. without creating excuses, even if there is a perfectly acceptable explanation. The second is taking actionable steps to ensure growth. The two examples I wrote about are just part of my process and my learning curve as a human. I know none of this is rocket science but making small actions like this to myself helps me shed old weight and heal old wounds as to why I may have been defensive in the first place. You don't realize how much you are holding onto when you don't take actionable steps towards change. The release of old patterning feels much better than trying to convince myself I can do no wrong. I'm human, I will make mistakes and I will learn from each of them. 

So when I encounter a client who needs to take accountability for their skin health, it can take a long time for the "click" to happen. A lot of skin conditions are a result of lack of accountability because you may not have been taught what to do or you've been guided incorrectly in the past. Owning up to it guides you the power to do sometimes about it. Whenever a client faces the fact that their skin health is in their hands, regardless of the severity of their condition, they end up being flooded with support and answers towards their healing. I've seen it time and time again but I feel that a huge part of this process does have to start with us. Admitting fault is extremely vulnerable and hard but it's much easier in the long run. 

I hope this resonates with some of you and if there is something in particular that you want to address with me I would love to hear it. Please email me at hayley@therapeuticskincoach.com and we can continue to dialogue in private. Thank you for reading and until next week, take care. xo - Hayley

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