Subconscious Skin Sabotage
When I think about the problems that come up with skin conditions, the worst one I think of has nothing to do with the skin itself. Our emotional wellness is oftentimes compromised when we are dealing with a physical manifestation of an internal imbalance on our skin. This could lead us to eventually believing in the worst about ourselves which is we may not be deserving the skin we want. There is an epidemic of people who experience the psychological effects of having a problematic skin condition that they often have a hard time seeing past imbalance even when it’s resolved. Regardless of when you have had a skin issue, it can come back not only physically but also the emotional effects can too throughout different times in your life. So what do we do when we happen to be one of those people? How can we shift into believing we deserve great skin and actually achieve it? It all starts with the right mindset and the proper tools to help you heal from the experience of having an imbalanced skin condition. Today I want to talk about how to balance this so you are not left subconsciously sabotaging your skin.
One of the hardest things I’ve seen as an esthetician is someone speaking so poorly to themselves about what their body is going through. I have personally experienced this so I can spot this subconscious skin sabotage from a mile away. Some of my clients have candidly shared with me the emotional turmoil that comes along with battling a skin condition and it’s clear that the impact goes a little more than just skin deep. While some of us may cope by over-treating the skin with self-extractions and way too many harsh products, some of us just want to hide and escape the world as we’re too ashamed of being seen. It’s heartbreaking because a lot of us don’t get the chance to hide so what happens when we face the world without that physical sense of confidence in our skin can lead us to lose opportunities. Many clients have admitted they don’t date because of their skin, some don’t feel confident making eye contact, and others just avoid major life experiences altogether. When we really think about it, it’s so hard to think that skin can have this big of an impact on someone’s life, but it’s true.
Growing up and having acne led me to want to hide behind makeup, not draw ANY attention to myself so I wouldn’t raise my hand to ask questions in school, and even made me feel like I was less than others who didn’t break out. As if they were a better set of DNA and I deserved this for some reason. Part of the problem comes with the marketing and overall education of skin health. Many people don’t understand that skin is the portal to your internal health and an imbalance is bound to show up in one form if you are in a process of transition. When I was in middle school and high school I thought that my skin was a huge sign that I wasn’t mature enough because other classmates who were older didn’t suffer like I did. What I think about now is that they were dealing with a complete other set of circumstances and comparing myself to them was a huge waste of time. We all have our own process and it’s rare that these timelines align perfectly with your peers. As easy as it is to compare ourselves to others seemingly perfect skin, it’s important to own our individual process only.
What we need to remember is that the evolution of skin is always in our favor so nothing is permanent. We can grow past the imbalance and learn something from the experience just as much as we can with any other obstacle life throws at us. Here are a few things to try to remember:
Experiencing a skin imbalance is an opportunity to look inward. If our skin is communicating that we are experiencing stagnation, inflammation, or low immunity - the skin issue is the least of your worries. Focus in on what the skin is trying to communicate by teaming up with a holistic esthetician, an acupuncturist, and/or a naturopath. All three professionals can teach you about how to best care for your inner and outer care through the lens of your skin. It can be empowering as well as educational so the internal issues don’t get worse.
Having a skin imbalance teaches you how to care for your skin. One of the things I am most grateful for from my experience with acne is that I learned at a young age how to properly care for my skin. It’s like I’ve been training for the lifelong marathon of a youthful complexion and healthy skin cells. If I didn’t need to care for my skin I may never have understood the power of a routine.
Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time in your recovery. I have spent way too much energy thinking I was supposed to be someone I’m not in my last 3 decades but the times in which I’ve had acne or another skin imbalance were probably my most torturous when it came to comparing myself. Having worked on thousands and thousands of faces at this point, I can tell you right now that no two people are the same or share the exact same experience. We are all a unique set of cells and are faced with opportunities to grow with each obstacle. You can choose to focus on you and your own healing, or you can waste energy on someone else’s path that you know nothing about.
A lot of the lingering pain that comes with a skin condition can eventually empower you. It’s important to not neglect this pain but to feel it. I have done many meditations where a situation in which someone made fun of my skin comes up. Instead of suppressing it, I can look back and think about every party involved in those interactions. To my younger self I say; "it’s okay one day you will use this experience to help others feel beautiful". And to the people who said mean things I say; "I hope you have worked through your pain and if not I send you light and love until you do". It’s ridiculous to be bullied for a very natural part of life but it’s common for people to poke fun at what they are scared of. It’s really just a reflection of their insensitivity and insecurity. That doesn’t mean it has to affect yours forever.
What I want people to remember is that they are beautiful with and without their skin imbalances. The issue doesn’t always have to be a physical manifestation in order to affect your emotional wellness so start by incorporating the above-mentioned points into your daily consciousness. This will, in time, hopefully, help you see that it’s not about being perfect or flawless, it’s about being you. Appreciating every step of your journey will help you towards becoming the most authentic version of you. That person is allowed to have flaws with interesting characteristics and aged with wisdom from valuable experiences. As difficult as it feels when you’re in the middle of it or when you’re experiencing the post-traumatic stress from it, it does get better if you choose to just let it be.
Thanks for reading...until next time. xo - Hayley
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