I'm about to get real honest here...
If you know me, you know that one of my best and worst qualities is that I’m a workaholic. I get a lot done in a day but it’s often at the expense of having a social life or taking a vacation. Being in a service based industry I rely on my clients to pay my bills and regardless of manifesting major abundance over the last several years, I still think that I can't stop taking the work. It never dawns on me until I realize how little I was able to see my parents when they visited for 3 weeks, how I’m booked in every day my husband has off, and how I am hardly available to attend the events of my community members. It’s really vulnerable for me to admit this to myself because I often get the response of “you’re probably too busy, I’ll just book with you next month” and my answer will always be “I’m never too busy for you”. I’m so honored that people reach out to me for facials and rarely will I ever say no because I genuinely love the work. So when my wonderful mother-in-law offered to assist my husband and me with a trip for our honeymoon last Christmas, I knew this was my opportunity to take an unapologetic vaca. However, as the last few weeks went by and we were slowly approaching the honeymoon of my dreams, I started to panic. That’s when I realized that Mercury was going into retrograde and if I know anything about this weird shift in the universe, it’s that it is an opportunity to test your faith in a higher power and my ability to handle anything with grace. So here it goes...
Becoming attached: Why the rules of dating often apply to my work
When it comes to my relationships with clients it feels like I often have to play by the rules of dating. Over the last decade I feel like I have experienced a non stop rotation of new, existing and returning clients. Every day I get several inquiries about how someone found me and I’m the answer to their skin prayers. I mindfully reply back and then - nothing. Since I have been with my husband for almost 6 years I missed the era of online dating, so I find that I still play a very old school part in courting someone. When a client ghosts me I get confused and think “didn’t you reach out to me?”. I also get broken up with by clients. I find that as strong as my return rate is there are many reasons why some people don’t come back. As an empathetic healer there are a lot of lessons I have to continuously learn again and again because I become heavily invested in each case. Whether a client ghosts me or gives me a very thoughtful reason why they can no longer see me, it still somehow manages to sting. There are many reasons why I think that a service providers clientele continues to evolve. I want to explore what may be holding back from taking the leap you need to trusting the process to finally achieving the skin of your dreams.
Love.
What I’ve learned over the last decade of skin therapy work is that I’m one incredibly empathic human. I feel everything. I’ve learned just about everything I can know about marriage, divorce, heartbreak, childbirth, miscarriage and grief from my clients. Little did my clients throughout the years know, they helped me tune into my heart to make some of the most difficult decisions I ever had to when it comes to love and loss. I continuously find myself holding space for people in some of the most tumultuous times. The therapeutic skin coach approach was to help you get to the root of the emotional issue just as much as the physical, so naturally your life events come up in conversation because it's all connected. You can't have glowing skin if you're disconnected from your experience. I wanted to share some of the most valuable lessons in love that I picked up along the way.
Education.
As I continue on my annual reflective journey with my birthday rapidly approaches, a common theme coming up for me in my daily work is one of education. Whether it’s because of the people who reach out to me for my expertise or the time I spend to educate myself on any of my multiple subjects of interest.I spend a lot of time applying the knowledge I have gained during my time as an esthetician that I have just recently started accepting the role of an educator. Yes, I know I don’t have a teaching degree but the basis of my work centers around education. The tricky part about my line of work is that it isn’t always valued as an esteemed profession. As I previously mentioned in my “perception” and “becoming an esthetician” pieces, I had to trust my instinct and ignore the naysayers when I chose this path.
Why I love the dentist
I am one of those people who actually likes going to the dentist. My mom worked at a dentist from when I was 10 to 28 so I basically grew up around the office. It was also my first job assisting around the office so I understood the culture of preventative care which is why I’ve never had a cavity or any oral care issues. When I moved to LA back in 2012 I didn’t have health insurance and could not find a dentist for the life of me. All of a sudden a few years had gone by and I started to notice some plaque on my teeth. I knew that proper oral hygiene is the key to overall good health but months became years and all of a sudden I blinked and found myself 6 years without my teeth getting cleaned professionally. Trust me, I barely admitted it to my mother or myself because I felt so shamed about it. I was relying on my genetically good teeth and ability to always brush my teeth and floss but I knew it wasn’t enough. That is when the incredible Dr. Karla Solis came into my life. I was introduced to her over a year ago and she has brought me back to a place of faith in my oral care because not only does sitting in a dentist chair feel oddly nostalgic and comforting to me but also she’s an incredible holistic dentist. I saw her yesterday and we got to talking about some similarities in our fields and that’s what I want to talk about today.
What constitutes an expert?
Over the last few years I have seen an incredible growth in the wellness community. We have evolved our hippie, woowoo reputation to a reliable source of transparency and natural health care. Since I’ve been in the game for over a decade, and that may just be long enough to recognize patterns, I’ve realized the most extreme pattern is how sick people are getting. With the amount of knowledge I’ve acquired over the years, I feel as though I constantly have to research and ask questions. I’m lucky to have a great group of wellness practitioners that I collaborate with so we can create a whole health wellness plan for just about any case. If a case gets a little tricky for me to solve on my own I have many estheticians who I can reach out to for advice. The collaborative effort creates a safe space to explore endless possibilities and potentially help catch something I would have normally missed in an assessment. So if it takes a village and a decade of experience among the leaders of this community for me to find success, than how come everyone is all of a sudden an expert?
Sometimes, I'm just off...
Sometimes, I'm just off and this weekend was a reminder of how incredibly uncomfortable that feels. The moon in Virgo and daylight savings reminded me of how even just a simple change to our environment can throw us off in our energy fields. Luckily the solution usually presents itself and we just have to be willing to listen. So instead of spinning with my head cut off I made a few choices to change and I wanted to share them with you for it might inspire you to do the same or just understand where I'm coming from.
Before you blame your skincare...
I’ll be frank and tell you that one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone blames their skin care for their breakouts. There is a small chance that your skincare isn’t working with your skin’s current condition but about 90% of the time it’s not the problem. Our skin is such a powerful organ with the ability to heal itself so breakouts are simply just a signal of what is happening within.
I want to help you try to understand this concept but I also don’t want to shame you in your health habits. It’s a fine line that I dance as an esthetician because I can always tell if you’ve had a cigarette, one too many margaritas or if you forgot to take your makeup off. Don’t even try to lie to me about picking your skin because skin doesn’t heal up in a scab like that. However regardless of my ability to use your skin as a guide I don’t get the authority of a doctor to tell you to change. Yet somehow I get all the blame if someone isn’t happy with their skin. When this comes up I don’t get upset, I just get reminded of the lack of understanding out there. Most people run around to several practitioners and take the solution that;
A) requires the least amount of work.
AND/OR
B) shifts the blame and allows you to avoid taking accountability.
Don't get me wrong, I do it too.
I’ll be nice about it but I won’t let you blame me or your skincare for your breakouts. So that being said, let’s just dive in. Why are you breaking out? Before you change your skincare or run to the dermatologist here are a few things to consider:
FP Escapes Recap; what I learned and what you didn't see
On Saturday, I landed back in LA and was greeted by a fellow passenger with a “good luck”. Though I’m sure the sentiment was very surface, I felt it on a multitude of levels as I awaited assistance to get off of the plane. I guess I should back up a little bit before you all start to worry. The previous Saturday I was on my way to Mexico with Tara for our long awaited trip to Todos Santos for a Free People Escape in which we were going to be hosting our signature Skin Food Talk, a beauty workshop, individual consultations and managing the Tara curated meals for 20+ guests and staff for the next week. We were ready, excited and open for the chance to grow individually and as a partnership. Packed with bikinis and yoga clothes, our day started in the early hours of the morning as we fly to Cabo around 8 am. Our social media feeds were flooded with our friends getting ready for the Women’s Marches in all parts of the world. The FOMO (fear of missing out) started to kick in until we realized that we would be able to hold space for our sisters marching on as we were chosen for this trip for a reason.
Roots: Why where you are from matters to your skin
If you know me you know that I moved around a lot as a kid. Both my parents worked in different cities and about every 2-3 years we would pick up and move according to their work. The biggest move was from New Brunswick, Canada to Wisconsin, USA when I was 10 years old. Shortly after the big, across the border move I started experiencing advanced puberty symptoms that I later became to understand was triggered due to stress and trauma from the environmental change.
Why I work from home
This weekend I attended a fantastic workshop at Wanderlust Hollywood hosted by the lovely Lauren Singer from Trash is for Tossers. One of my personal resolutions this year was to decrease my waste and continue to educate myself on how to help protect our mother earth. Having the opportunity to meet Lauren and learn some of her go-to recipes for zero waste home care products reminded me of why I decided to leave the spa world: IT’S INCREDIBLY WASTEFUL! Here are some of the main reasons why working from home is a small way to make a big impact:
My Deal Breakers
We all have deal breakers in life, love and work. They are the things we just absolutely do not put up with and will not tolerate no matter what. As a skin coach my deal breakers went from non-existent to a concrete list of no-no’s. It seems odd that a service provider like myself should have any boundaries as I am in the business of providing care to anyone who needs/wants it. The truth is if I were to be agreeable to everyone no one would progress. No one would see change and I wouldn’t be doing my job. So let me let you in on my skincare dealbreakers.
Who Cares!
It’s important to find balance in life right? I know I’m constantly working on what to shift my focus on. This world is so over-stimulating that we can often start to feel overwhelmed with what to care for? I’ve learned that as an empath I take on a lot more energy than needed. In fact there is a point in which you can care too much. This is the fine line I’ve danced with over the last few years and you know what, it’s okay to let go of some of that baggage. As an esthetician I inevitably act as a source of therapy for some, and a punching bag for others. It comes with the territory and after 10 years, I understand that the ones who need to use me as their excuse to be upset it’s simply a projection of what is going on with them. You know what I do for those folks? Give them more love, since they clearly need it.
becoming an esthetician
When I was 18 I was in college and spiralled into a huge pit of depression. I didn’t gain the freshman 15, I actually lost a significant amount of weight because I had no appetite. No appetite for food, no appetite for socializing, no appetite for life. I struggled to find my identity after high school because I was so involved and busy that I never sat and thought about what I would be once I graduated. I took a lot of safe routes; went to the same college as my sister, became roommates with my best friend since middle school and chose the most generic major I could think of at the time ...