Becoming attached: Why the rules of dating often apply to my work
When it comes to my relationships with clients it feels like I often have to play by the rules of dating. Over the last decade I feel like I have experienced a non stop rotation of new, existing and returning clients. Every day I get several inquiries about how someone found me and I’m the answer to their skin prayers. I mindfully reply back and then - nothing. Since I have been with my husband for almost 6 years I missed the era of online dating, so I find that I still play a very old school part in courting someone. When a client ghosts me I get confused and think “didn’t you reach out to me?”. I also get broken up with by clients. I find that as strong as my return rate is there are many reasons why some people don’t come back. As an empathetic healer there are a lot of lessons I have to continuously learn again and again because I become heavily invested in each case. Whether a client ghosts me or gives me a very thoughtful reason why they can no longer see me, it still somehow manages to sting. There are many reasons why I think that a service providers clientele continues to evolve. I want to explore what may be holding back from taking the leap you need to trusting the process to finally achieving the skin of your dreams.
Stop Picking Your Skin!
I think we can all agree that one of the worst skin habits to have is picking at one’s skin. Actually, it’s THE worst habit to have. I can live with a “I forgot to wash my makeup off” every once in awhile or even a “I use cetaphil to wash my face”, but there is no good reason to pick your skin. Trust me I’ve heard it all; “It was ready” - How do you know? Are you a licensed esthetician? “I did it mindlessly” - Perhaps in your sleep but most scabs indicate to me that it wasn’t just a mindless attack. I’ve fallen victim to picking at my skin from an early age and since I obviously made a career out of it, I understand the urge to do it. The truth is that it comes down to two theories:
A - You actually think you are an esthetician and after watching enough Dr. Pimple Popper youtube videos so you feel confident you can extract your skin flawlessly.
Or
B - There is an emotional connection to why you are attacking your face. It may be anxiety or the need to control something when your life feels out of sorts however there is an underlying issue that your face doesn’t deserve to feel the retaliation from.
So what can you do? There are so many ways to transition out of this habit and I’ve broken it down into 3 simple steps.