Perception.
It’s officially August 1st so this means it is the last official month of my 20s. A lot usually comes up for me right before my birthday because I physically feel a chapter writing itself to a close. I become very reflective about where my life is going as well as what I’ve learned from the previous 11 months. I can safely say that my 20s have been a decade of epic growth that I can wax poetic on it all day. Over the last week I have been incredibly fortunate that the universe has graciously presented me with multiple gifts of self care which has helped me tune into my reflective period. Honing into that voice in my head that is screaming at me to finally shed some of the barriers I’ve held up for as long as I remember. The one that screams itself the loudest is simply to be my most authentic self. So as I continue to write I want to dive a little deeper into the themes that has led me to where I am now, living an authentic life of my choosing with the world as my oyster.
Healthy Skin vs. Perfect Skin
As a person who heavily identifies with the struggles of being a perfectionist I do notice that I tend to have a physical response to the word itself - "Perfect". When someone tells me they want “perfect” skin, it really hurts my heart because it creates an emotional block that we have to investigate. I have tried to overlook the term as it has followed me around my whole life, but it’s gotten to the point now where I am doing you a disservice if I don’t correct this terminology. Healthy skin does not equal perfect skin. I’m going to repeat that: HEALTHY SKIN DOES NOT EQUAL PERFECT SKIN. Health is an ongoing journey to bettering yourself for the sake of feeling good while having love, acceptance and appreciation for yourself. Perfection is not attainable and generally comes from a place of low self worth, self loathing or simple delusion that you have to fit a mold. As someone who has struggled with anxiety their entire life, it’s easy for me to fall into my perfectionist trap and unknowingly use the term with intent on delivering a positive message. So today I want to breakdown the differences of why healthy skin doesn’t equal perfect skin and advice on how to shift your mindset towards acceptance in being your true self.
My social media anxieties
I go through the typical love/hate stages with social media often. Most of the time I can get past the obvious social media sensitivities like “how come this person is always on vacation?” or “this person posts so much better content than me.” but sometimes I get triggered and it’s taken me a little perspective and self care to uncover what those fears were really stemming from. First, I am a firm believer that we are all in it to win it so my comparison attitude is based from a deep rooted crippling perfectionism that I have only started shedding over the last 2 years - obviously something I need to work on a little more. I do feel like we all can be successful and it takes for me to see how someone else is successful to remind me that I can do it too. Trust me there are times that I have woken up from dreams that all of a sudden the new trend is to not treat your skin and I would be completely out of work. But after 11 years I still manage to get more questions, new clients and seem to be increasing in my success with each year. So why does an instagram sometimes make me want to give up? Or at least crawl under a pillow for a few hours.
I'm so not a salesperson...
My husband and I realized something about me recently. If you get a chance to sit with me for a lunch, facial or just a brief encounter in the grocery store - you may end up indulging me with your life story. The name “therapeutic skin coach” is not 100% based on my experience as an esthetician. For as long as I can remember I have the type of personality that immediately comforts someone to have them share their life with me. It makes sense that when I first signed up for college I simply put “psychology” down as my option for a major since I have sort of always felt like a bit of a therapist. That being said it hasn’t always been easy to be an esthetician. Estheticians wear many, many hats that unless you walk in our shoes, you may not realize how much we have to do. First, we need to be able to analyze just about any skin condition. There are many party conversations that turn to “you should take a look at this thing on my back” or a text with attached photo that says “what do you think this might be?”. Secondly, we need to be able to run our businesses. I have to place orders, manage my business accounts, set up projections for myself and have to keep my permits, licenses and insurances all up to date. Things I never thought I’d have to worry about or rather even know anything about. Probably one of the most important parts of the job however is sales. I have to sell myself, sell you on my service, sell you on my products, sell you on everything. And you know what, I’m so not a sales person.
Unsolicited advice from uber drivers
Not having a car in LA means that most of my days I have to take uber or lyft to get around. I tend to get car sick so I often sit in the front seat and this opens up an opportunity for my drivers to ask me many questions. I totally get it, most people treat these drivers like they would a taxi driver or bus driver and don’t dive into dialogue other than basic chit chat. The first questions are always related to what I do or where I’m going. Over the last few weeks I have been prepping for my upcoming wedding by taking classes at a local yoga studio (Set and Flow if you're interested! I highly recommend!) so naturally the conversation leads to why I’m doing yoga and how I like it. Throughout this dialogue I have been advised to try the “lemonade” diet (this is not a Beyonce diet either...it’s a version of the master cleanse I guess) and to download an “anorexia” app (not an actual anorexia app, but those were the words it was presented to me by). This is when I started paying attention, not because I was interested in the suggestions but because I was startled to think who else gets this kind of advice.