This is the last type of blog I ever thought I’d write but here we are.

It sucks to be labeled as “non-essential”, doesn’t it? As much as I agree with the measures taken to protect our society from COVID-19, I can’t help but feel the anxiousness of what’s to come for all non-essential industries.

Try as I might, I have yet to find one piece of mandated closure information that even lists facialists or spas as part of non-essential businesses that have to close during this type. The beauty industry is left out of the conversation forcing business owners everywhere to make an incredibly difficult choice by themselves. That choice is to label themselves as “non-essential”. I hate even thinking about it because we KNOW in our hearts that we are essential to our clients, and even with all of our training for upholding medical-grade level sanitation, the risk of our exchange is still too high. We know it’s the right thing to do, as painful as it is to not be of service the way we are best during this terrifying time.

While I have had plenty of time to become introspective during my week+ of quarantine so far, I have found my mind wondering why I didn’t pick a career that made me essential.

Again with that term - I don’t know why it hurts so much to use it but it does.

The truth is I tried...in high school, I volunteered at a local hospital and completed a shadowing program where I was committed to becoming a nurse. Every college I applied to had a great nursing school that I was planning on admitting myself to. Yet, once I got to college (2 days after I turned 18 years old), I panicked about the whole thing. I wasn’t ready to have my life mapped out in front of me where I would be engulfed in debt. The school I was in felt overwhelming, my depression and anxiety kicked in with thoughts of “How will I afford this?” from the moment I unpacked my suitcases in the co-ed dorm I lived in for a semester.

We all know the story of how I became an esthetician, but years into my career, I decided to try to pursue nursing yet again. I signed up for community college classes in Austin to get me back on the path to starting my second year of college as I had completed my first full year before going to esthetic school. The problem was I wasn’t considered a resident of Texas, so I waited a year to start and then all of my transcripts expired. All the advanced classes I placed into, the 3.9 GPA I worked my ass off to get were all non-transferable because I waited 1 year too many to continue. I started again, taking algebra 1+2 (classes I had taken in early high school), human growth and development, English classes, etc. all of which was lost once again once I had to take a break because of a medical emergency. So I tried to become essential, maybe not hard enough compared to most, but it took the life out of me every time I failed.

Back in 2012, I decided that I would lean into what I was doing. I released the shame of not having a college degree and came back to the heartfelt reasons I even became an esthetician. I learned to fully love my work regardless of giving up on what I thought was my dream of achieving a college degree in nursing. After all, it was consistent for me through a recession and through experimenting in different parts of the industry (makeup, waxing, teaching, sales, medical, holistic, writer etc…).

Once I moved to LA, started Therapeutic Skin Coach, I ended up finding the education I was seeking all along. Most of the classes I take and subjects I study are the same as business, communications, health science, and health care majors. The difference is that my application of this knowledge is through a physical modality that is typically revered as shallow and frivolous. But my experiences are certainly anything but. Having found undiagnosed cases of severe health disorders just through my consultation intake alone (confirmed by medical professionals after my insistence for clients to follow through with proper diagnosis).

My point is this: It sucks feeling non-essential, especially during a time of crisis. The people I know whose businesses are affected by this pandemic absolutely love what we do. It’s painful for us to not work, like being put on the sidelines by being told shelf our craft. This is how we know to help but we have to put our instincts aside to actually be of service. Staying home, closing our businesses, avoiding the interactions that fuel us are all the things we are doing because we know it’s the right thing to do. This is beyond my craft, my income, or my feeling of being left out of essential industries. It feels unnatural but so does waking up to more news of this pandemic each day, knowing how people are not cared for and don’t have access to care.

We know how important we are in the lives of the people who trust us to take care of them by making them feel beautiful, seen, and educated on taking care of themselves. However, the uncertainty of the need for our care after the pandemic ends is weighing heavy. I FEEL IT SO MUCH for both myself and others. From people just starting their career or people like me who have no other experience besides my current career.

Part of me is grateful that I have this time to think about what really matters to me. As well as grateful that I decided to create love-based online content 2 years ago to help supplement my huge loss of income. It’s not going to make ends meet, but it’s very useful to have as an option instead of feeling the need to scramble and create something new out of fear.

However, I’m also faced with massive discomfort and uncertainty that I’m not purposefully trying to ignore, but I can only stomach so much at a time.

I want to share what’s been coming up for me.

I’m sharing this because it could resonate with your experience as a fellow non-essential business owner or worker, not because I want to tell anyone how to act right now. This is uncharted territory for all of us, the last thing any of us need is to be told what we “should” be doing. I’m just sharing what my heart is saying, partly for the cathartic release of facing my innermost fears of lack and unworthiness, and partly because I feel a responsibility to state my case for people who assume this has been cake for us since we’re “off” right now. We’re obviously not “off” by choice:

I’m treating each day as it comes. Many of us are such givers that we feel a little uneasy not giving in a day. The fact that it’s been 8 days since I’ve given a facial doesn’t feel like a holiday. It’s a strange adjustment where I feel like a limb is missing. The energetic exchange I personally get from a client is fuel for my personal well-being, so my tank is feeling depleted now. To waste time feeling guilty for taking care of ourselves right now is not practicing what we preach. If you feel productive, great! - Harness that towards whatever you feel is best BUT please make sure to save some of that giving energy for you as well.
I’m keeping in contact with my clients for more than just skin check-ups. Many of my clients are rescheduling their weddings, are in complete isolation due to living alone, or are in the midst of a huge flare-up with their health. I may not be able to provide relief beyond the realm of skin health advice, but I care about my clients and want them to know they are in my heart. A little “sending you love” or “thinking of you” goes a long way.
Of course, I want to deep clean my office and create fresh online content for everyone, but our businesses never really get a chance to have energetic clearing. Letting it sit for a second is OKAY. Trust that the magic will still be there once you come back to it. I’m not forcing anything. Just letting my energy be my guide here.
My urge to help all essential workers IS REAL. But there will be a time for that too. Let them do what they’ve trained for by keeping us safe and stocked up on goods. When the time comes, we need to be ready to take care of them.

Whenever I start to think of how the need for my service might be lost once this is over, I have to remind myself that I’m not just a service. I’m a human that is unlike every other human on this planet. And guess what, so are you! We are essential to society no matter what happens.

We will figure this out, but give yourself the time to sit and take a breath. Lean on your character strengths right now and not your potential weaknesses. Mine include a mix of comedic relief (have you seen my Tik Toks?) and having perspective (an attribute most immigrants have).

I am constantly telling people to find the flow in their skin by trusting in the flow of life, we have to do the same right now. My heart is with you as much as it is for those who are suffering from COVID-19 struggling to get tested or cared for and those who are working endlessly to provide the care.

Thank you for reading and comment below with your thoughts, ideas, and questions on this topic.

With love, Hayley

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