To define 2020, we would have to start with what we decided to redefine. Today that’s what I want to discuss. We can describe 2020 as a hot mess, a train wreck, the worst year ever, etc., etc. but really if we look at the greater picture there are certain things that came to light in ways we didn’t anticipate but needed this year. Because we have to admit, most of us grew the parts of us that we were hiding. We faced some of our darkest fears in ways our subconscious would never even let us imagine in our nightmares. We’ve adapted a new language for ourselves and shed beliefs that no longer serve us in our new normal. We are no longer the people we were when we woke up on January 1st of this year. I want to go over the items that were redefined this year. These items defined us as humans, as a society, and it also defined our future.

Prior to 2020, there were terms used to describe beauty and health that were loose in meaning and used pretty casually. The true understanding of beauty and health was challenged this year. For me, I can safely say that mindful use of language has been a challenge and a commitment throughout my life. How you may ask? Well, English is my second language and my first language I’m no longer intuitively fluent in. Some vocabulary I only learned through media or in my social circles. True definitions have been a little blurry for me so I’ve committed myself to find the meaning behind the words I use because of this. 

For example, I grew up learning English curse words as a french speaker. I never understood the gravity of their meaning, especially used in certain contexts. I became desensitized to certain phrases and language that overtime lost impact due to my overuse. Saying “I love that!” over a pair of shoes broke down the intensity of how much weight the word love holds. It’s something I’ve actively worked on yet until this year, I let some societal interpretation of some words really impact my self-talk. Words like ugly, fat, frumpy, etc. were subconsciously categorized in my mind as opposites of beauty. I can safely admit that this didn’t affect the way I saw beauty in people. One of my gifts as a human on this green earth is that I can see the beauty in people. I view different shapes, sizes, and skin conditions as beautiful even if it’s not considered so in the traditional sense. 

What we have to understand is beauty is constantly being redefined. This post does a great job of describing the continuous changes we have seen in our standards of beauty. It’s exhausting to keep up with the ever-evolving standards that, for the life of me, I can’t figure out who sets. However, on an individual level, I have tirelessly worked to shed the notion that my fluctuating appearance is not beautiful. I teach skin love because I have achieved positive self-talk with my outermost organ, but it’s been a battle to accomplish the same mindfulness with my body image. I’ve struggled with body image issues since I was a kid. I can safely say I was obsessed with being thin but also have the “right” type of curves. The imprint left on my impressionable brain that I’m imperfect can be rooted in dopey ex-boyfriends commenting on my body. “Why are your boobs so small?” OR “It looks like your body is from two different people.” mocking my curvy hips and small chest, OR even just insisting that the cellulite I’ve had since I was 10 is a result of my lack of exercise and poor diet choices. I’m a person who has had disordered eating my whole life and would obsessively exercise to maintain my already underweight body. These comments were from people who claimed to love me so the additional comments I would hear from strangers bear no repeating even though they have been cemented in my brain. So thankfully those people are no longer in my life and haven’t been for the better part of the last decade or two. 

It wasn’t until this year, the year that broke many of us down, that I realized my subconscious was ready to redefine beauty for myself. This year, it’s clear that ugly is not defined by looks anymore.

Ugly is being prejudiced, bigoted, small-minded, racist, sexist, ignorant, exclusive to others who are different than you.

Ugly is not what you look like - what you look like is your human experience.

Ugly is the darkness in a person who is not accepting or kind to others.

Ugly is not skin imbalance, weight, or race.

Ugly is those who criticize those parts of you. 

Beauty is being 100% your most authentic self or at least in the pursuit of it.

If that version of you is not up to the impossible societal standards set by an anonymous group of people who change every few months, then that’s on them - not you. In my practice, I don’t let my clients talk poorly about their skin because I can clearly see how much they care (or trying to) about themselves by even showing up. Working with me will not be an experience that leads to lowering your self-worth. That is my calling in this life no matter if I’m doing it in the treatment room, on a zoom call, or on social media. 2020 redefined beauty for me because I finally let go of the societal definition of ugly into what it really means. My commitment to myself and to you for 2021 and other years moving forward, is that I will not associate myself or my business with that sort of low vibration, short-sighted way of thinking. We all deserve better after what we’ve been through. 

I’d love to know what 2020 redefined for you. Drop a comment below to share what you learned! I hope you grew, failed, won, lost, and all the while learned more about what makes you - YOU. Because all I can ever want in this world is for you to be yourself in all of your magnetic glory. 

I’ll see you in 2021 y’all. Congrats on making it through this history-defining year! xo - Hayley

p.s. If you haven’t signed up for my SKIN LOVE workshop on 12/20 yet, click the link here to check it out!